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TYPE 2: THE CONNECTOR

 



"You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You."
"Old Standard" song title
"Can there be a love which does not make demand on its object?"
Confucius
"When one has once had the good luck to love intensely, life is spent in trying to recapture that ardor and that illumination."
Albert Camus
"Love is a kind of warfare."
Ovid

Snapshot
Twos are based in the Heart Center. Their issues revolve around love and emotion. Relationships of all kinds are the focus of Twos. They strive to connect with others because being loved and appreciated is the primary goal. As a result, they help many people and remember to celebrate others' birthdays and special occasions. Twos like to unite people on higher positive ground. Being liked and loved is important to Twos.

Best Example of a Famous "TWO": MELANIE GRIFFITH
Celebrities Public Figures Characters
Alan Alda Nancy Reagan Jessica Rabbit
Sammy Davis, Jr. Lady Bird Johnson Counselor Troi, Star Trek
Elvis Presley Rosalyn Carter Scarlett O’Hara, Gone With The Wind
Lionel Ritchie Desmond Tutu Melanie Hamilton, Gone With The Wind
Elizabeth Taylor Eleanor Roosevelt Betty Boop
Barry Manilow Albert Schweitzer Mr. Rogers
Nat King Cole Mother Teresa Glinda, The Good Witch of The North
John Travolta Mary Magdalene Cleopatra
Ursula Andress Florence Nightingale  
Liberace Ann Landers  
Dolly Parton    
Marilyn Monroe    

Quick Profile

The roles Twos play extend from the lovers (Leo Busgalia) and the seductresses (Madonna) and the selfless caregivers (Florence Nightingale, Mother Teresa) to the extremes of the Jewish mothers and the stalkers like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction or Kathy Bates in Misery. A cynical viewpoint of the less healthy examples is that Twos are the champions of love, although achieved at the expense of others they deal with. But the healthier types exemplify the archetypical goodness and love of Glinda, The Good Witch of The North.

Twos continually strive to be loving and supportive of others and often epitomize selfless service and compassionate nurturing. Consequently, their attention can be focused on the needs and wants of others, and their own needs can be repressed or expressed indirectly. They are often unaware of their own motivations and tend to become manipulative and proudly superior about their good deeds. Twos are generous, friendly, warm-hearted, demonstrative, romantic and sincere. They can also be sentimental, flattering, people pleasing and intrusive.

People are often attracted to Twos because of their giving, loving empathy, their ready willingness to engage and connect emotionally. In addition, people like that Twos can make the objects of their affection feel like the center of the Two's total attention. At their best, Twos are unselfish, humble, altruistic and unconditionally loving of others and themselves.


Are You a Two? How many of these do you identify with?

As A Two:
  • It's easy for me to see the good in other people, and I am quick to tell them what I like about them.
  • I love it when people tell me what a great job I did for them, but at the same time it's hard to accept their praise.
  • It's really hard for me to just come right out and ask for what I need.
  • I love it when my boyfriend tells me how good it feels to have me at his side when he takes me out.
  • It's easy for me to give but very difficult to receive. Likewise, it's really easy to help others but hard to let others help me.
  • When I see stories of personal tragedy on the news, my heart aches and I seem to know how the victims feel.
  • Relationships are just about the most important thing in life. Hmm, well they really are the most important things.
  • I pretty much just know how to get people to like me.
  • I'm the world's best listener, but have to restrain myself from giving too much unsolicited advice.
  • I feel good when people need me and when I can really help them to be successful.
  • My feelings can be extremely sensitive, but at the same time there's a part of me that's tough as nails.
  • I have a tendency to do too much for others and not enough for myself.
  • I see myself as very thoughtful and generous. I just seem to know what others want and need. I wish others could do the same for me.
  • I try never to let it show when I'm feeling needy or vulnerable.
  • In intimate relationships I love merging with my partner.
  • Whatever you're looking for, I can be it.

In Enneagram Terms:
Also known as: The Helper, The Lover, The Altruist
The Main Plot: The main character (a 2 of course) sees herself as loving, the answer to everyone's problems and all sweetness and light (or the sexiest thing that ever lived), and the theme revolves around her love making the world go round for others.
Chief Feature: Flattery
Basic Motivation: The need to be loved, liked and appreciated; the need to praise and flatter others, and to avoid being seen as needy; the need to be needed.
Basic Fear: Of being unlovable and unwanted.
Basic Desire: To be and feel like they are loved.
Focus of Attention: "Do you like me?" Helping others, giving others what they need even before they know what they need themselves; making themselves indispensable to others; "What do you need, and how can I fix you?"
Passion: Pride
Virtue: Humility
Psychological Defense Mechanism: Repression. All defense mechanisms involve a kind of repression--keeping anxiety-provoking feelings or thoughts at a distance by pushing them down into the unconscious. Twos repress their own needs so much that they just aren't aware of them, and they become aware only of the needs of others and their desire to take care of other's needs.

 

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